Bandung, January 8th 2017
Hi readers, today I visited another blog that I follow and found this article below. Being around with negative people is very exhausting. But well, we still need to hold our emotion sometimes. If we get mad because of them (negative people), it’s really not good for our emotion & mental health. So, right now I’m sharing this article about how to identify negative people. Happy reading….
As you venture into becoming a new, more improved you in 2017, you should review the people in your circle. Let’s face it, relationships matter. Who we connect ourselves to matter. Relationships are so important that the Harvard Business Review wrote an article about the importance of relationships to one’s health and wellbeing, stating, “[studies] have linked disappointing or negative interactions with family and friends with poorer health (2010).” If relationships have an impact on your health and wellbeing, it is certain to say, you must be mindful when choosing the people in your circle. You cannot be great if you’re still holding onto a toxic person because as the saying goes, “one bad apple ruins the whole bunch.” It’s hard to be around negative people and not end up being negative. It’s hard being around gossiping people and not end up being a gossiper. It’s hard being around an abusive person and not end up being abused.
So, what am I saying here? Change your circle. You have too much to accomplish in 2017 to be around people who will bring you down. This is the year you should finally say yes to everything you’ve wanted to do. You don’t have time to be connected to the wrong people because those wrong people have a tendency to make you get off track. You need laser focus. It’s time to stop saying you want a different life and start doing it, therefore you will need a circle of relationships that will help you accomplish your goals. The people in your relationships should hold you accountable and encourage you to get to the finish line while you’re encouraging them to do the same.
To help you identify toxic relationships in your life, here are 10 characteristics of the people who are normally toxic to your health, wellbeing, and goals:
1. They’re always gossiping: People who are always gossiping eventually will gossip about you. Normally, when people gossip, they are putting people down, something you don’t have time for because you’re trying to be a better you. You don’t have time to compare yourself to anyone else. As Eleanor Roosevelt stated, “Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people.” Do you want to be a small-minded person or great-minded?
2. They are rarely on the giving end:Most toxic people attempt to find ways to use you. Do you notice that a person in your circle never helps you or gives you anything, but you’re always giving tirelessly to them? Get rid of them.
3. They never seem to be genuinely happy for you when you share a win:No matter how many small or great things you share about doing something positive or finishing a goal, a toxic person is never genuinely happy for you. They may act like they’re happy, but you can feel the disingenuousness radiating from their congratulating remarks. They may even congratulate you but then turn the conversation to something else because your win is really not something they want to discuss.
4. They abuse you, physically or mentally: Um, big one here. People who care about or love you will not abuse you, physically or mentally. Enough said!
5. They attempt to control who you can communicate with: The control freak has an immature attitude. Because they no longer talk to someone, they don’t like for you to talk to them. Excuse me, but adults are allowed to communicate with whomever they wish. Again, no time for such immature behavior.
6. They do not like opposing opinions: For the toxic person, you better not offer an opposing opinion to theirs. How dare you not feel how they feel about a particular individual or situation? Why would you not agree with them? Perhaps because you have a brain and the ability to think and reason as you please?? Besides, who wants a friend who always agrees with them? If I’m in the wrong, please tell me. Friends should not allow friends to go down the wrong path. We cannot control the friend’s final actions, but we can express concern for them. Also, if my website or business idea is silly, please tell me and explain why you feel that way.
7. They’re always the victim: Haveyou ever met someone who never seems to like anyone because the people they don’t like have always done them wrong? The victimized toxic person always has a story of why they don’t like a person, and whatever happened is never their fault. The victim never takes responsibility for anything!
8. When they give, it’s out of expectation to receive: This infamous giver may appear to be a giving individual; however, they’re giving is really out of expectation to receive. If they give you a Christmas card, you better give them one too. Who cares about giving out of the kindness of your heart with this person?
9. They’re overall a negative person:You try to have hope for the negative person, but no matter how much light you shine, their darkness prevails. The negative person always tells you what you can’t do or how dumb your idea is. It’s ok to have an opposing opinion, but to always tell me I can’t do something is an issue. They tell you you can’t go to college because no one in your family ever went. You can’t start a business because you’re broke. You can’t work on Wall Street because you filed bankruptcy. Our mistakes are what help us to learn lessons and to become a better person, so if someone is telling you why you can’t do something, examine the reason they are telling you. On the journey to greatness, you really don’t have time for someone to be telling you you can’t do something, whether big or small. You’ll never know unless you try, right?
10. They seem to want to hold you back: This toxic individual may subtly attempt to hold you back. You may not notice it at first, but then you think about all the times you’ve been distracted by them when you’re doing something to better yourself. What you’re doing isn’t important to them or they just may be afraid you will leave them behind. A good friend will not be afraid, but will cheer you along as they are on the same journey to achieving their goal. People who genuinely care about you understand there is enough goodness in the universe for everyone to win if they try.
10 Ways to Identify Negative People – http://wp.me/p7bq2c-2XP
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Naomi Indah Sari