” It takes a loose rein to keep a marriage tight. ”
” Constant togetherness is fine — but only for Siamese twins. ”
” It is only when we no longer compulsively need someone that we can have a real relationship with them. ”
It was Richard Bach who said it best: “If you love someone, set them free.”
Although there are no solid rules that determine what makes a relationship work, many people will agree that communication, trust, and the willingness to give each other space are fundamentals. A lack of trust can not only keep two people from getting close, but will also create an atmosphere rife with tension, doubt and suspicion. Communication has long been touted as the cornerstone of all successful relationship; partners who talk together, stay together.
Similarly, the ability to give a partner space is important for nurturing growth, both in terms of your relationship with him/her and with yourself. As social animals, we all need to have some sort of connection with others of our kind. However, while putting too much space between you and a partner can leave him/her feeling unloved and alienated, too little can be really suffocating. Unfortunately, either extreme, albeit based on good intentions, can destroy a relationship.
The trick is to strike a balance – to spend some quality time with your partner enjoying mutual interests, and some with yourself and your own hobbies. There is no perfect ratio that applies to all relationships. Some people like constant attention, while others need a lot of personal space. The important thing is to talk about individual preferences early on. By establishing boundaries in the initial stages of a relationship, you can better accommodate each other’s needs and desires and, most importantly, prevent a lot of misunderstandings and hurt in the long-run.